By Sherrie Campbell, PhD
Growth is painful. Growth is painful because it requires us to get outside our comfort zones. Change is painful because our lives become unfamiliar to us. The unfamiliar is scary. But there is nothing more painful than staying in a place where we do not fit or belong. As people we are programmed for connection. We all want to fit. We want to be loved and accepted but sometimes we end up in the wrong group of people. If we stay stuck where we don’t belong we will lose ourselves. We will know deep down we do not fit because we will feel like we have to sacrifice ourselves to make other people happy. So why do we so often try and make it fit? We do this because we want to love. It is that simple. Sometimes we want to love people who do not value love. Some people truly do not value love, they value conflict, winning and fighting. What we have to learn is that our love for them will not make them value love the way we want them to or wish for them too. If we are light we cannot be dark and if people are dark they are not likely to have the insight to stay true to being light. They may suck you of your light and love and if we allow this to happen we lose self-respect. We have to leave the places and people with whom we do not belong. This does not make us unloving. Boundaries make us more loving. There are simply some people we cannot love if they are in our lives. Their presence only creates a mess. If you are in a place you do not fit, love yourself enough to let go and let them go.
Growth is painful. Growth is painful because it requires us to get outside our comfort zones. Change is painful because our lives become unfamiliar to us. The unfamiliar is scary. But there is nothing more painful than staying in a place where we do not fit or belong. As people we are programmed for connection. We all want to fit. We want to be loved and accepted but sometimes we end up in the wrong group of people. If we stay stuck where we don’t belong we will lose ourselves. We will know deep down we do not fit because we will feel like we have to sacrifice ourselves to make other people happy. So why do we so often try and make it fit? We do this because we want to love. It is that simple. Sometimes we want to love people who do not value love. Some people truly do not value love, they value conflict, winning and fighting. What we have to learn is that our love for them will not make them value love the way we want them to or wish for them too. If we are light we cannot be dark and if people are dark they are not likely to have the insight to stay true to being light. They may suck you of your light and love and if we allow this to happen we lose self-respect. We have to leave the places and people with whom we do not belong. This does not make us unloving. Boundaries make us more loving. There are simply some people we cannot love if they are in our lives. Their presence only creates a mess. If you are in a place you do not fit, love yourself enough to let go and let them go.
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